6.11.2013

scammer:  jane.ferguson@mail.com, jane.ferguson.uk018@hotmail.com, chana@cantv.net
Hello my love, My name is Jane Ferguson,i read through your profile today and i became interested in you,i will also like to know you the more,and i want you to send an e-mail to my e-mail address so i can give you my picture for you to know whom i am and for the both of us to know each other very well and better in life,and we can achieve it in future because ture love and feeling means alot in future.Here is my private e-mail address you can contact me with it.(jane.ferguson@mail.com)I am waiting for your mail to my e-mail address above and aslo, Remember the distance or colour does not matter but love,feeling,e-motions and sympathetic love matters alot in life. Thanks,and i promise to be honest and to keep a very good relationship with you. jane. jane.ferguson@mail.com
me:
My Darling Jane,
When you email your next victim you may want to consider not writing the entire message in the subject line.
Good luck!
PS Hows the weather in Venezuela?
scammer:
Dearest ,
How are you today? i hope fine, i really thank you for your reply to
the mail i sent you through the site. My name is Miss Jane ferguson, i am
23 years old, i was an undergraduate in general Nursing, i am hoping
to further my education in nearby future.
i am not married and i don't have any kids, I'm a bite fair in
complexion and of average of height, i am from Liberia in west Africa
and presently residing in the refugee camp here in Dakar Senegal as a
result of the civil war that was fought in my country last four years.
The name of my Late father was Dr Lion ferguson,
he was the managing director of, ECONET GROUP of Company in our
Capital City Monrovia, and he was the Minister of Foreign Affair in
the Liberian Government of Liberia before the rebels attacked my
house one early morning killing my mother and my father,
So i am the only surviving person in my family, then i have to ran to
a nearby country which is where I'm now in the refugee camp, haven't
finish up my education and need a man who will make use of my fathers
wealth and get me through in life,
I would like to know more about you. Your likes and dislikes, your
hobbies and what you are doing presently.
I will tell you more about myself in my next mail. I attach here my
picture for you to know whom i am. I wait to hear from you soonest
Love from
Jane.
 me:
right.  except for the part that you are just an ignorant child in Venezuela...
nice work getting the email subject and body sorted out however, definitely a huge improvement.  now if you could just find someone who gives a damn you might be in business.  

5.03.2012

from: (786) 519-3709
Panasonic GH2 with 20mm 1.7f lens - $1200 (utah county)Hello seller,is your item still available for sell ??
me:
Yes, your lucky day, it is! However I'm going to put a mild voodoo curse on the item, hope you like surprises.
scammer:
could you please get back to me with your final last price of the item?
me:
$300 bones and the mildly cursed item is yours!
scammer:
Thanks you so much for that and may i know the actual condition of the unit
me:
Perfect condition. Flawless even. And I bet you are wondering about the curse right? Nothing to worry about really, nothing fatal or even uncomfortable, it simply gives the person who touches this item, permanent erectile dysfunction. Do we still have a deal?
scammer:
Sound good,I will love to purchase your item for a friend who went on a tour to see some exhibition in Africa and.i am willing to offer you $380 USD for both the item price plus shipping cost by the way do you have paypal account for me to make the payment and if you on webcam i will love you to few pics of the item for a view thanks and God bless.
me:
Well I am relieved to see that you are not at all concerned about the curse. Most men would never willingly put their manhood at risk. Sorry no webcam but here is my paypal account - flaccid.forever@gmail.com

5.01.2012

from:  (518) 285-0047
Hello i wanna make inquiry on your ad Panasonic GH2 with 20mm 1.7f lens - $1200 !!!do you still have this unit available for sale in good condition???what is your final asking price??i wanna buy..
me:
Ya here is the thing. I sold it to hilter and he said hes coming for you.
scammer:
Are you sure???
me:
Pretty sure he said that. Good luck man.
scammer:
ok man 
me:
What you don't believe me? Dude I swear he said that.
scammer:
 forget that man....dont have time for that....

4.02.2012

this conversation took place over the space of a couple days.

from: (678) 551-2259
....Hi,
Nice stuff !! am ready to make the purchase still available for sale?? let me know thanks...
Regards
Rosa
me:
Nope I already sold it to your Nigerian friend who's living in New York.
scammer:
Okay buddy:) do you have any other stuff for sale?? Pls lemm know
me:
Totally! I've got several hundred pounds of moldy old cheese to sell. Are you interested?
scammer:
Nope lol
me:
How about a few cases of miscellaneous laser and tesla coil parts? Perfect nerd gift for all the nerds you know and love.
scammer:
!!..Ṁ̭̥̈̅̄ṁ̭̥̈̅̄н☀('.._..')☀нṁ̭̥̈̅̄Ṁ̭̥̈̅̄ ..!!... Lol
me:
Well frick man what do you want?
scammer:
Phones or cameras,tablet,laptop
me:
i have a netbook. i have a camera. i also have a phone. lucky you.
scammer:
Lemme knw the types so I can make my choice okay
me:
iphone 4s, asus netbook, GH2 camera.
scammer:
What's the asking price for each of them?? Lemme know so I can the purchase
me:
$300 each.
scammer:
am willing to purchase only the iphone

kindly email me your PayPal request to (davis.rosa98@yahoo.com) so i can send you the money as soon as possible.
me:
Oh I'm afraid I deal in cash only, bozo.
scammer:
i would have prefer to come pay by cash on delivery but i'm not available for the exchange,that's why i said i will be paying you via PayPal and if you do not have a PayPal acc you could easily set up for one at paypal.com to receive your money its only few steps.and if you have quickly log into your PayPal acc and email me an Invoice and i shall proceed for the payment once its send ,i will also include the postage charges fee altogether once,so do get back to me if you're keen to sell. thanks
me:
Haha! Did you think I forgot that you are the scum of the earth? You dishonest sack of garbage!
scammer:
what the hell are you talking about?
me:
You are trying to steal my money. So I have wasted your time, insulted you and now I'm going to blog this conversation so all my friends can laugh at you as well.
scammer:
Hmm
me:
No one likes a scammer bro. You are welcome to go get hit by a car now. Or at least pick a new hobby you stupid bastard.

4.01.2012

scammer: dumblickpaul40@gmail.com -- prince100@gmail.com
Let me know if the items you posted on craigslist still for sale?
me:
Still for sale douchebag, whats it to ya?
scammer:
Thanks for the prompt response to my mail.I will be buying the itemfrom you so please kindly withdraw the advert from CRAIGSLIST.and i
will be paying you via bank certified check from my Bank and the
payment will be delivered to you via United Parcel Service (UPS or
FEDEX) and i will like you to get back to me with the following
information to facilitate the mailing out the check to you... kindly
get back to me with the..
Name to be on the payment...........
Home address...........
City..............
State...........
Zip Code..............
Cell phone #................
I will make arrangements for the pick up as soon as you have your
money I am completely satisfied with the advert and the payment will
be delivered within 2-3 working days.** I use a hearing impaired phone
# and will receive your calls via email ** N.B UPS and FEDEX does not
deliver to a P.O box addresses.Thank you
me:
Name to be on the payment...........Satan
Home address...........Will
City..............Eat
State...........Your
Zip Code..............Entire
Cell phone #................ Family 

3.31.2012

from scammer: Mike James -- mikej1ms47@gmail.com
is ur item on sell ??
me:
Why are you even trying you ugly bastard.
scammer:
Thanks for your quick response, i was introduced to this site by a friend at work. I am well satisfied with the description on your ad, I will like to purchase your item for my Friend who resides and study abroad as a complimentary gift. Though i will not be able to make cash payment due to my tight schedule. But am ready to make paypal as my method of paying, I am offering you $1400 including the shipping fees because i want you help me by shipping it out directly by you through the USPS Express mail Service 5-8days.. Send your PayPal email address to me so I can pay you and proceed with the transaction,I am using only PayPal. This is because PayPal is the most secured and safest way to transact online. You can also get a PayPal email address within few minutes at www.PayPal.com if you are new to PayPal. I hope to read from you soon.

Thanks.

~~ (I left the font as it was in the email.. very obviously copied from somewhere. nice one!) ~~

me:
This isnt even fun any more.

3.29.2012

from: (646) 481-6516
Panasonic GH2 with 20mm 1.7f lens - $1200 (utah county).........Do you still have it??
me:
Giant Tower of Balls.   Also, I hate you.
scammer:
What do you mean?
me:
You are attempting to steal money from me through lies, and I despise you for it.
scammer:
Nope am not like that, i don't do that ok.......
me:
Then what are you doing?
scammer:
I want to buy from you ok.
me:
Where do you live?
scammer:
I live n work in NY..
me:
I believe you live in god forsaken nigeria. But let's say I'm wrong. Tell me how you're going to put cash in my hand?
scammer:
Can i pay you via PayPal, western union or bank transfer?
me:
Put cash in my hand, or you can go kill yourself.